05 September 2012
A very Beautiful Comment I Found while Reading a Post.
I speak from experience when I say this, so girls, listen up.
No this is not the most important thing.
The most important thing about a girl is her vision. Date a girl who does not let past experiences poison the thought of being happy together with a guy. Date a girl who does not reject a guy simply because he has been a friend for so long and cannot overcome the awkwardness of being with the close friend nice guy who would otherwise act perfectly in every way to make the girl happy. Date a girl who is not blinded by friendship that cripples her ability to see the bright and enjoyable future with the nice guy stuck in the friend zone.
Girls too often make harsh, irreversible judgments on how guys act to initially attract and hook up with the girl and fail to focus on how the guy would act to stay with the girl. That’s why there are far too many couple who hook up because of being attracted to surface impressions and personalities, but fail to realize the utter incompatibility between them, resulting in a harsh break up. Or worse, a girl may be pressured to stay together with a guy when she would have been much happier with someone else.
Girls, think about the man who you would impulsively shove away in the friendzone who understands you the most – the man who is the easiest to approach and treats you with unparalleled thoughtfulness and care. Are these not the qualities that every girls claims she looks for – kindness, compassion, consideration and affection? Why then, is he in the friendzone after fully considering the possible joyous future with him? How influenced are you by your past biases and naive emotions to give you that “uncomfortable” feel with a guy who would otherwise, be technically perfect for you? This “uncomfortable” feel is completely unreasonable, though natural, and girls should take an effort to overcome this because 10 years down the road, simple impulsive “feel”s aren’t going to determine your happiness, but a deep connection and understanding between a couple will.
This villainous bias that brings a sense of unexplainable discomfort can hurt you and in many ways. Think about this. If one guy tells a joke and you don’t laugh and in a parallel universe, another guy tells the same joke and you laugh, you would be biased. Why? Who knows, but don’t let it blind you from seeing what’s really important.
Sure, a lot of you are going to say “you don’t have to be so technical with love!”, which is true – there are some unexplainable, intangible things about love that just make it magical. But don’t been brainwashed by this feeling, you need to balance it with reason and foresight. Remember that those who are reluctant to be technical and rational and succumb to the “unexplainable pull” of love are the easiest to be exploited by cheap guys who know the analytic technical “tricks” to attract women, which would distract girls from their true personality.
Speaking from experience, I was a college sophomore. There were pretty much 6 men that were on “that” side of my life, 2 of which were in the realms of possibility. One was the nicest, most caring (but not a pushover), interesting and greatest guys that I’ve ever met, who had been my friend for several years and would always be there for me and we’d always enjoy our encounters. The other was a guy of the same age who I had been friends with but not that close. He was also nice, but in a very mellow way and god I was attracted to him for some reason. So the first guy asks me out and without thinking about it too much, the idea of him being a friend for such a long while overcast any thoughts of a possible future with him, so I put him in the friendzone. I ended up going out with the second guy. However, our relationship was not without its rough edges. Sometimes, it seemed like he never cared for me and other times it seemed as if he was, for a lack of words, being a total jerk both to me and people around him. However, I was pressured to stay together with him because, at that time I thought “honestly, who would want to have “breakup” appear in their history?” I ended up marrying him and holy crap, it was a rough ride. Finally, I came to my senses and decided that this would not have any happy outcomes without an astronomical, time-consuming, mind-drenching effort.
So what happened? I let my biases blind me from seeing who would be the right guy for me. I’ve completely lost contact with him but I’m certain it would’ve been better than me pursuing a relationship driven by unexplainable attraction impulses.
Succinctly, girls, don’t let your past prejudices and bias prevent you from seeing the possible future with a man. You Can find the Source Here.